Triple C
Well-Known Member
Another thread got me thinking about something and I wanted to take the opportunity to add it here.
I faced a defining moment on stand early in my hunting career and it could have been a really bad deal for me. I am a self taught deer hunter and I struggled early on and at the time harvesting anything with antlers was a treat, but the goal was always something for the wall. I had taken a yearling buck in archery season and IN had/has a rule where a single hunter can only harvest a single antlered deer over the course or the entire deer hunting season. I was hunting for a doe for the freezer and a buck and doe comes busting thru the woods right at me. He caught my movement and stopped and stood there and watched me not 30 yards away. The doe continued on without a shot. It was the biggest buck I had ever seen while hunting at that point in time......a clean 10 pointer that would have pushed 150". He stood there and begged me to kill him.....and to be honest, I really thought about it. "Nobody will know", "You can tag it under the wife or the boy", "Nobody in their right mind would let this deer go" all ran thru my mind. As much as I wanted a trophy on my wall - here I was faced with the opportunity to do so, but I would have to sell my soul to do it. I didn't shoot that deer. I kicked myself for not doing it. And I told the story to several people and they all said the same thing......"Why not, I would have." Why not? Because I would have to lie or make an excuse for that deer every time someone wanted to talk about it. Why not? Because every time I saw it I would know I cheated. Why not? It would have been a symbol of how I put my own greed for attention above my own values and the way I was raised. Why not? Because it would have been wrong!
I saw a person give in to that "greed" and I was SO disappointed in them it wasn't funny. I lost a lot of respect for that person that day. That person shot a deer they shouldn't have, they know they shouldn't have and I know they shouldn't have. I don't want to be that person.
I don't type this or tell this story to pat myself on the back, or to claim to be some sort of better person....we are all flawed in some way or form. I do this because there are some defining moments we all face in the woods and those moments can have a profound impact on us as people. If I had killed that buck.....I more than likely would not be hunting still. As badly as I wanted that satisfaction.....I want it for the right reasons. Turns out those reasons are not even what I once thought they where. As much as I love the excitement of the hunt and I recall the details of some of the hunts that resulted in trophies on the wall.....I have hunts with kids when they took their first deer that stand out just as clearly. It's moments in the stand or odd events that happen along the way that I will never forget.....that I shared with someone else. If I had taken that deer - I could very well have led down a very self-centered path and one in the end I would NOT have been proud of.
That "horn greed" is a very dangerous thing. I think many habitat guys have some sort of gene or chromosome or something that makes us a different breed of people. We come to realize it isn't just about us and our success....even though that may be what drives us to jump into this work. The journey tends to change us in the process. It connects us with a piece of property and to animals we now are almost caretakers of. We see success in the process and NOT the end result so much. Sure we want those antlers on the wall, but we have a greater respect for what it takes to accomplish that. The old saying is "Life isn't about what you take with you when your gone, but what you leave behind" comes to mind. I have no issue with pursuit of your own personal success, but the mark of true success isn't what we take with us.....it is truly in what we leave behind. We all have people in our lives that we look up to, imagine how our lives would have turned out if those people would have only focused on themselves....
Sorry for the ramble - I just felt compelled to capture some thoughts.....
j-bird...Just catching up on your thread and this post caught my attention. We have most all of the bucks we've taken from the farm mounted and placed on the wall of our hunting cabin. Every time I look at any of those deer the events that surrounded the taking of that animal come back in vivid form. You did the right thing. Had you taken it, every time you looked at it on the wall the truth would emerge. Great insight and kudos to you for displaying great fair-chase hunting. Thx for sharing!