Jealousy

[g squared 23]

I've been hunting for ~18 years (I'm 31), and deer hunting has become the most important recreational activity of my life, second only to family and career. Early in my hunting career, I have to admit I was a bit envious any time another hunter in camp brought in a nice buck. Rarely did I actually feel happy for the other hunter, and relished only in the moments of my own success. Even fairly close relatives (uncles, cousins) scoring would only make me green, and I would have to force my insincere congratulations. I wanted to kill deer and have people feel happy for ME, but did a poor job of reciprocating. Of note, I was always hunting on a relative's farm or a guest at a relative's deer club.

So my first question is: Is that "normal" behavior? Am I the only selfish, insincere hunter out there?

Fast forward to today: 2 years ago, my brother and I bought a small property to deer hunt. We run trail cams and create a soft hit list of deer that we're after. I happened to score last year (and was of course very happy for myself), but my brother didn't. So far, I've enjoyed a better hunting experience on our place than he has.

Looking at trail cam pictures so far, there is one deer who stands out at the top of the hit list. I really, really would like one of us to kill that buck. Which is really a change. It doesn't have to be me actually, and theoretically, I feel like I would be just as happy if my brother killed that buck as if I did.



So what's the difference? Have I matured? Entered another stage of my hunting career? Is it because it's MY property that the deer would be killed on would make the success just as sweet and feel like my own? Was I just a selfish turd before who has transformed into someone resembling a normal person?

 

[Turkey Creek]

No your more normal than you realize. If you were 70 years old and still jealous of everybody else's success then I would say you have a problem.Its called maturity. Wait till you have kids! Then you will wish that every hunt could end in success for them, because that is what will put the biggest smile on your face.

 

[wklman]

No your more normal than you realize. If you were 70 years old and still jealous of everybody else's success then I would say you have a problem.Its called maturity. Wait till you have kids! Then you will wish that every hunt could end in success for them, because that is what will put the biggest smile on your face.

Yep, this^^^^^^^^

I think most all people change as they get older. Some for the better, some for the worse,lol.

 

[cutman]

The success for me, and I suspect you now, is in growing the deer, not killing them. When you are managing your own land everything changes.

Every nice buck killed by a guest of mine should be on my wall, not theirs. I tell them where to hunt and what to look for...all they have to do is pull the trigger.

 

[duxndog]

I have been in that exact same boat for many years...I have never killed what I would call a mature whitetail buck to this day. Now that I have my own property, I've set a restriction on age and antler harvest for our bucks. I have one or two friends that will hunt with me during the season. And there is really only one buck that meets the requirements. I'd be sick if one of them got this deer after all the work I have put in at the place. But I have to prioritize what a win would be for me and the farm. At the end of the day, if we can produce quality whitetails and I have a chance, then the rest is luck. I far more enjoy their company, help, and comraderie....all aspects of hunting used to be about the trophy and pride. Now, I don't struggle with it as much and I tend to be able to enjoy the process and hunts much better now that my success is not defined my antlers, inches on a beard, or how many limits shot or game birds. I think that is the maturity part.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

 

[Btaylor]

If that one deer is your primary target, you might consider getting a video cam and hunt together that way when y'all kill him you are both there and will have the hunt to watch forever.

 

[Blizzard Ridge]

Here is what I have learned through my many seasons deer hunting. I do not judge my deer seasons by the deer I kill. My best year ever was 2010. I did not kill a deer that season but had more opportunities in that season then any other ever. I was hunting a 200"+ deer and had that deer within 30 yards of my tree 4 different times. I had opportunities to kill that buck but chose to not take a marginal shot in hopes that I would get another chance at him later in the season. He ended up disappearing and never showed himself again after that season. I will take a deer season like that any year. I had more opportunities then I can even count at lesser deer in the 150s - 170s and if I had it to do all over again I would have another bowl of tag soup. All my other favorite seasons are seasons that my boys killed nice bucks and I wouldn't trade those years for the biggest buck in the world.

 

[George]

#1 yes, a young person growing up in the me age, that's probably normal behavior.

#2 Lets see how you feel if bro kills him?

G

 

[Native Hunter]

#1 yes, a young person growing up in the me age, that's probably normal behavior.

#2 Lets see how you feel if bro kills him?

G

Or the neighbor kills it........

 

[George]

Or the neighbor kills it........

Ouch!!

G

 

[Native Hunter]

Ouch!!

G

That might test the maturity of old seasoned guys like you and me too......

Ouch!!

G

Let's make it easier on him to think about and say a "good neighbor."

 

[Blizzard Ridge]

I myself am super pumped to see what the guys hunting on me kill this year. I don't think there is a deer out there that I will be heartbroken for one of my hunter's, friends or kids to kill this year. I think I will be the opposite and will be just as excited as the guy that takes the buck. Even if a neighbor gets a couple of them, it happens and eventually I will take one of theirs on my properties. In my part of the world when one is taken out of the herd you can guarantee there will be another one take his place as the big cheese soon after. Now poachers or trespassers that is a whole other thing and they will soon be on my bad side in a hurry. I ain't the man I once was but if you want to see my fightin' side poach one of my deer and you will see that 20 year old billy bad ass come out right now and in a hurry

 

[g squared 23]

I don't know my neighbors, so will never be happy for them. I feel like I "should" be ecstatic for even my extended family members, but rarely am. I don't have any friends that hunt, but I think I would be happy if one shot a deer on my land.

I do look forward to taking my daughter hunting, but that's 8+ years away.

 

[dogghr]

I'll be honest Gsquared. I've never felt that way. Perhaps because we used to always group hunt in some way instead of todays on your own, don't let anyone get my deer attitude. I've been with friends, and some not so good friends when they took good deer, or fish, or made more money than me, or better kids, etc, and I never resented their success at all. In fact I was always happy for them. Now I am a very competitive person even when it comes to hunting, so even tho I celebrate their success, I would work hard to outperform them. Maybe that is your true feeling, I don't know. So there is my final answer. I hope you can learn to deal with the jealousy you say you have, because I think it would keep a person from really enjoying this great sport of hunting to its fullest. Just sayin.

 

[Seabee]

As long as someone in my group is successful, I feel successful too. I really like having a first timer kill a big deer on my land. I remember being in their shoes as a kid with no place to hunt!

 

[Blizzard Ridge]

I hope you can find a way around your jealousy issue as well. You are missing so much enjoyment that you should be getting out of your hunting, instead it sounds like you are worrying if someone else has killed your deer or stressing over whether you will get a chance at him. Then what comes next is feeling the need to kill the biggest deer in the woods every time you set foot in the woods, well I hate to tell you but that just isn't going to happen for any of us. You just need to wrap your head around that bigger deer than what you kill will always happen more than likely every year someone in the area will take a bigger buck. You don't have to be happy for that person but you can't let it eat at you to where you don't enjoy your own hunts. I personally am happy for any hunter that truly deserves the trophy that they end up with. I have a buddy that has been hunting with me for 15 years and has yet to kill a true giant buck. I am always hoping and trying to help him find that giant each and every year.

 

[OkieKubota]

I have a buddy that has been hunting with me for 15 years and has yet to kill a true giant buck. I am always hoping and trying to help him find that giant each and every year.

There are a lot of folks who have hunted a lot more than 15 years and haven't killed a "giant buck"... A giant buck for some would score 100-120", for some it would have to be over 200" to be considered a giant so everyones idea of what one is will be different...

 

[Blizzard Ridge]

There are a lot of folks who have hunted a lot more than 15 years and haven't killed a "giant buck"... A giant buck for some would score 100-120", for some it would have to be over 200" to be considered a giant so everyones idea of what one is will be different...

Oh I agree with that and he and he has taken plenty of good deer that he is very happy with. What I would consider a giant is 170" or better for our area. For where he lives if they break 150" it's a huge buck. He has been hunting my farms and there is proof of deer in the 170"+ category. This is what I hope for him to get a crack at this year and I believe he will.

 

[OkieKubota]

On the Jealousy issue - I started a thread yesterday that kind of go's hand in hand with this one and it is about loading a dead deer you have killed up and driving it around to show people...If I have a big deer on camera I never have any allusions that the neighbors don't have pictures of it. I can usually tell by how much activity there is in September and early bow season around our property which starts October 1. If my wife or I happen to kill that buck or bucks we never let anyone know other than as I said a cousin and his son. I don't show my brother or sister, I definitely do not show any neighbors at all and the deer is headed to the processor PDQ until we can get setup to process our own with a grinder, skinning shed, etc...

The first year we owned our property we had no good access to our own place. Our gate into the property was near a neighbors home that had a bunch of dogs so every morning when I got there I had dogs barking at me and then the neighbors sons realized I was in there and I am pretty sure went out of their way to make the most noise humanly possible and since their house is right on our line and 40 acres deep into the property then that noise definitely affected the hunting. I had a new neighbor just up the road on my southeast side who helped me with some stuff and I helped him as well and I asked him if I could park at his house and walk down the road to our place one morning and he said sure thing! I ended up killing a pretty nice 5.5 yr old buck that morning that was really big bodies for our area and when I got back to the truck he was out there and told me he heard the shot and what did I get. I showed him a cell phone picture and I am pretty sure he told all the rest of the neighbors because activity ramped up big time in the area after that. He has mentioned things since that have a hint of jealousy in the tone.

Now we live on our place so access is not an issue. The son's of the west neighbor have all moved out and it is quiet once again. She has 1 dog that doesn't bark much. I am still really friendly with my east neighbor and we still help each other out but I don't talk hunting with him. I hunt as hard as ever and if we kill a deer we never mention it to anyone around us and when we hear shot's all around us we never ask anyone what they got or saw.

Jealousy in a lot of ways can be toned down considerably by the "out of sight, out of mind" principle...kind of like "don't ask, don't tell"...

 

[Baker]

I have a 75 yr old partner in our Mexico property that isn't as nimble as he used to be. I will work as hard as I can to find him the biggest deer on the ranch this yr and hopefully get him on it. Would be a thrill for me.

I found, took video and helped a great buddy take a 193" typical a few years back. Filmed the entire hunt. Was a fantastic experience for us both I wouldn't trade for anything and we have the video to celebrate for the rest of our life.

My thrill is growing giant whitetails and getting to share the experience with others. Consistently growing them is the hard part. Sharing is the reward. I make a video recap of every season and send hundreds of copies to folks all over the country who enjoy looking at magnificent whitetails. Many of these folks I've never met. Together we have all formed a rewarding community. Whitetails/hunting can bring people together...or create jealousy and resentment. The choice is ours.